That’s the kind of copy advertising agents would put on a box of candy-coated cereal before they realized that even the American public knows ‘food energy’ is another word for ‘calories’.

‘Extreme’– a manly word, still works. MacDonald’s sold a lot of ‘Double Down’ sandwiches by appealing to our inner ‘bad boy’. The Jack in the Box Bacon Milkshake sounds like an idea whose time has come.

The bacon shake is made with no actual bacon, just real vanilla ice cream, bacon-flavored syrup, whipped topping and a maraschino cherry, according to the website. We were thinking this had to be the most trayf food known to mankind before we saw the ingredient list. We’ll get to the nutritional info in a minute.

If you guessed a thousand calories, you’re guessing low. I love it that most of the ingredients are not found in nature. ‘Whipped topping’?

I start the ‘ShapeUpRI’ weight loss study on Monday. I went to a meeting last night and there– placed on each chair– were the dreaded books. Like in the TRIM study, we’re going to record every calorie we eat. With a bacon shake and a bunch of celery, I’ll be good for a week.