So often non-scientists trivialize and misunderstand vital research. For example, David Jaffe’s casual dismissal of the ground-breaking discovery that lithium can extend the lifespan of nematodes. The layman might consider nematodes to be a lower life form, but that is simple ignorance. I am sending a diagram of our latest experimental results, in a format that even Mr. Jaffe should be able to understand. You will notice in plate 2 that the nematodes are writhing wildly in the grip of mania. In plate 3, in the throes of depression, they try to curl up into little balls but nematodes don’t bend that far. Lithium restores them to their normal state, where they don’t do much. And live a long time, or at least it seems like a long time. I am proud of what we have been able to do for nematode quality of life. Perhaps we could extend these research results to humans, but that’s not my department.
Sincerely,
Verm. N. Helminth, Phd.
Chief Researcher
The Worm Institute
Recurring Nightmare 
I would like to nominate Dr. Verm. N. Helminth for the Nobel. This worm work far exceeds the usual research one expects. After all, Mr. Gore received the award in part for the ghost written book he published and for work British courts found to be a political document, but he did beat our Rush, also nominated for the same Nobel. It is reported that both Rush and Mr. Gore receive lithium treatments based on Dr. Helminth’s research, or did Rush ask his maid to pick up the medication for him? I am just not certain–perhaps I need lithium as well.
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